I am an awful knitter…and that’s good because practicing my knitting makes road trips with my husband way less stressful.
When I first began knitting I dropped so many stitches you could fit your head through the holes in my scarves. So I’d knit patches to cover the holes. Then I’d sew buttons over the holes in the patches. My early scarves were really weird. Twelve inches wide in spots, four inches wide in other places. But that didn’t stop me from handing those odd rags out to (long-suffering) friends. One was so heavy and thick I’m pretty certain my buddy had to crawl when wearing…it dragged her to the pavement.
Here’s how my bad knitting has saved my marriage. I only knit in the car when Jim and I take long road trips. He hates the way I drive. I hate the way he drives right back. He follows too closely causing me to have to press the imaginary brake in the passenger seat foot well. And occasionally gasp loudly.
I took up knitting so I am looking down when he’s driving. Eyes on the needles! We’re both happier that way.
I suppose he hates my driving because I’m quite a bad driver. I never knew it until a whole lot of people informed me. I’m slow. Hands nervously at two and ten.
In 2005 I bought myself a darling Mini Cooper. I chose the fastest engine, manual transmission, British racing green and SO CUTE. That zoom-zoom engine was totally wasted on me. I probably never drove that Mini over 55 mph. I swore I’d NEVER sell that car–her name was Maude.
Then, much to Jim’s dismay, I opted to trade Maude in for a mini-van– a baby blue, Honda Odyssey named Stella. We travel with our beloved dog, Bronson. More about him in future posts. I wanted Bronson to have total comfort and several cup holders.
The day we mini-van shopped Jim brought along Maude’s title. He swore he’d only mini- van shop ONCE, so we’d better damn well find the right car that day.
Well, he was wrong. We mini-van shopped twice. I traded Stella in for a newer, slicker model. Gracie. She’s gray. Creative, eh? She has a little refrigerator in the front seat. And, happily, she has a fine brake in the foot well of the passenger side.
We’ll take Gracie to Chicago in August. Jim will be driving. I will be knitting. Anyone want a scarf? I’ve gotten better! Rarely drop stitches, but still add patches and buttons for fun. All my new friends are Floridians. I need some cold weather victims. LMK if your neck needs warming up.