Cataract Surgery

Yup! I gathered up my courage and had the surgery. I know cataract surgery is a routine thing these days, but since I’ve already lost my hearing monkeying with my sight is scary. I fear becoming Helen Keller.  In that event, I asked my daughter, Mo, to off me. She’s a critical care nurse. She should know how to do it painlessly.  She refused.  Something about losing her license. Geez, her priorities are mixed up.

My vision has gotten so bad. I see huge smudges around lights and driving at night is terrifying. Yesterday was my first operation. They began with my left eye. Jim and I bundled up for the surgery center. They keep the place as cold as a meat locker.

We showed up at 8:00 a.m. Then we were on a conveyor belt leading from room to room to answer the same questions, have technicians peer into my eyes, and get drops to dilate my eye. Finally, at about 10, I was taken into a large room, put into a hospital chair, and hooked up to an IV. The room was crowded with other patients in similar chairs. I was allowed to keep my street clothes on but draped with a bright yellow flimsy gown and had a blue shower cap put on my head. My left hearing aid was removed. Nurse Jill put a post-it note on my chest stating, “HOH. Speak into the right ear.” No idea what HOH stood for.

House of Hope?
Hearing off, Hollar?
Hogs or Hounds?

Then the surgery was explained. I would see six bright lights. Then a single light. Somewhere in there, the laser would zap my eye. But I was given anesthesia so I don’t remember much.

By 11 a.m. it was all over. I was told to keep my eyes closed as much as possible for twenty-four hours. That wasn’t happening. Jim took me to lunch. I had bacon wrapped dates with goat cheese. Stellar. Then we went to Costco and bought giant size containers of stuff, finally home again.

I wasn’t allowed to read so watched some weird British movie about kids who were cloned. Their purpose was to be organ donors, giving up body parts until they eventually succumbed to death. It was slow and stupid, but I hung in there for the entire thing.

My left eye is seeing hula hoops of sparkles around lights. My sister had this surgery some time ago. She said those hula hoops last a while. In fact, when they finally left she missed her “circles.”  The circles are created because the lens I chose has concentric rings to allow for vision at different distances.  It’s called Symfony and it cost $3000 extra an eye. I’ll be eating Meow Mix in my old age, but I’ll have 20/20 vision!

20171019_103208.jpg

20171019_103058.jpg

Here is what I’ve learned. The sink and toilet in our bathroom are not almond color. They are white! My right eye still has its cataract and sees everything as kind of tea stained. But the left eye now sees color clearly. The orange pavers around our pool are, in fact, pink.

I was hoping to bring the cataract home in a jar like Mo kept her tonsils for show and tell. However, I was told the cataract liquefies when zapped with the laser. It’s sucked out and dumped into a container of water.

Last night we went to friends for birthday cake, then out to dinner. We sat outside. There were strings of party lights hanging over our heads. The hula hoops made the lights look like brilliant Slinkys.

The hospital just called to check on me. Yes, I’m fine. Yes, I miss my make-up. Yes, I’m putting my drops in every four hours. No, I didn’t keep my eyes closed for 24 hours. And guess what? My toilet is white.

Next surgery two weeks from yesterday. In the meantime, I tape a clear plastic eye patch over my left eye while sleeping. I just get more and more stunning at bedtime!

20171019_124207.jpg

Somewhat related Blog Posts:

Ravishing, that’s me.

Show and Tell

Surgery…And that’s Good Because.

I’m deaf, and this is good because…..

P.S.  My brilliant son-in-law just informed me “HOH” means “hard of hearing.”  Duh.  Why didn’t I know that?

 

Surgery…And that’s Good Because.

I’m having cataract surgery. Left eye tomorrow, right eye the following week. This means no eye makeup for several weeks. Jen Sincero’s You are a Badass positive thinking suggestion is to take a situation you don’t like and making it affirmative by adding, “and that’s good because” after the sentence.

In this case, “I can’t wear eye makeup for over two weeks, and that’s good because I’ll hunker down and read some really good books.”

I have been wearing eye makeup since tenth grade. Each morning I sat at the kitchen table, opened my little white leatherette box with the mirror in the lid, and there in the northern light I applied my war-paint.

When the task was complete mom would say, “Now you need to sign your chin.” Then she’d try to coax me into eating breakfast. I was a terribly picky eater. She would often make me “egg-nog”, which was essentially a chocolate milkshake with a raw egg beaten in. Yes, I was allowed ice cream for breakfast. Yes, I was spoiled.

Ha, another memory of her spoiling us.  When we were younger each morning she would extract the comic page from the newspaper and carefully cut it in half.  The top section had Dick Tracy.  Marilyn liked that part.  On the bottom half was Little Lulu, my favorite.  In retrospect, she probably did that to keep the peace.  Then she could drink her coffee and smoke her Kent without us bickering.

We were both always avid readers.  Her friends thought mom made a mistake allowing us to read comic books, but she figured, “They are reading.  Let them read what they love and they will read for a lifetime.”

In hopes of finding good new books, I checked out Litlovers.com. Then, list in hand, I headed to our local library. It’s small, but they had four of the ones I was hoping to find.

I began Mitchner’s The Novel this morning, but now intend to put it aside in favor of these. Three out of four are due back in two weeks.  Think I’ll start with Emily Culliton’s The Misfortune of Marion Palm.  

20171010_154325.jpg

Other somewhat related blog posts:

My Lifelong Love Affair with Philadelphia Cream Cheese

Day Two of Manifesting my new reality

Sixty-Five! And this is good because….

I’m deaf, and this is good because…..

Circling the Sun

Reading

Going to Church

Positive thinking, Shel Silverstein, and my marvelous Book Club.